Be Fully Expressed. Be the Spark.

This weekend I attended a conference called Spark of Awesome in northern Minnesota. Yes, I drove through a blizzard—literally—on my way home, but it was worth it. I got to meet an amazing group of women from around the country, including the extraordinary Danielle LaPorte. I’m back in Michigan with some new revelations about myself, my work and my life. We all need pauses in our regular lives to carry ourselves higher. Perhaps that’s what spring break provided to you.

I think folks—my scholars, my friends, my family—know that I find Danielle’s work utterly inspiring on many levels. It’s the reason I started weaving her work into our work with our McNair students. From feedback I’ve received so far, I think you guys are enjoying this exposure and opportunity for exploration.

Danielle and me

I spent an entire day with Danielle and we covered a lot of things. Did we ever! Looking over my many notations, the one speaking most to me is this concept of self expression. Danielle said, “Being fully expressed is the greatest gift I can give my child.” Taking this further, being fully expressed is the greatest gift we can give any (and every) person we come in contact with.

We are in the business of self expression—on a scholarly and intellectual level and on a personal level. It takes great courage to express yourself. We all do it in varying degrees. I know that I often hold back out of fear. What I’m coming back with from this experience is the desire and resolve to live each day fully expressed. I’m not sure what that might look like exactly for me each day, but I want to find out!

It was funny, at the conference, others were referring to our group as the “sparkly people” and at breakfast I heard someone say, “oh, that’s the sparkler group.” To this I say---SWEET! I love being part of the sparkler group. To me, living fully expressed means being confident in myself and being willing to show my spark. So, I challenge you to let your spark out so that others can see and benefit---from YOU. Be the spark. Be fully expressed every day. I guarantee you will grow and change in some unexpected and remarkable ways…

How Do You Want To Feel?

Welcome 2013! It's here. So, what do you want 2013 to look like for you? How do you want to feel? With the turn of the year and the start of a new semester, your outlook and approach to things can feel especially fresh.  It's always a good thing to reflect upon the past year or semester and think about the things that worked, things that didn't work, what might have been particularly inspiring to you, major accomplishments that you can build on, areas in your life that might need improvement.

For me, I'm pretty psyched that we got refunded and I can keep doing this amazing work with some amazing scholars.  Now that's an accomplishment!  I'm proud that I ran my first 5K at a 10-minute mile pace and started personal training - made me feel strong.  I'm inspired by my new thinking about my work - coaching work that is - and building on this with my upcoming interactions with all of you.

Time still escapes me though and this is an area in my life that I really want to work on this year.  I know that the key for me in being most productive - creatively, personally, professionally - is to rise early to create the time and space to do just that.  I also know that if I could institute better "sleep hygiene" that it would bring this goal into reach.  Going to bed around the same time and waking up around the same time (including weekends!) is essential but hard to do!  Ideally, I'm shooting for sleep between 9:30 and 10 and wake between 5 and 5:30.  Food is the other thing that needs work!  I'm still a sugar addict.  Late at night (and weekend!) sugar eating isn't doing me any favors and I know it.  Most of you will say - oh Lynn, you eat so well - well, that's because you usually aren't with me during nights and weekends...LOL!  I know that if I brought this into moderation, it would not only make me feel better, it would improve my sleep.  A win-win - yes?

So, how do I want to feel in the New Year?  My top-three at the moment: effortless, smart and in my zone.  I want to make things as easy as possible and stop dwelling on the "shoulda coulda woulda's" in my life.  I want to use my gifts and talents and stop second guessing myself.  I want to develop an inner and outer focus that will bring my creativity to light.  I want to feel at ease when I'm interfacing with others.  When I'm at ease, I feel alive and joyful.

How do you want to feel?  Share with us in the comments below!  Cheers to 2013!  :-)

McNair: FIVE More Years!

On a Tuesday morning COE sends out the email saying the McNair slate is out.  This is something we’ve been thinking about, wondering about, fretting about for over a year now – way before we even submitted the grant on June 7.   I distinctly recall getting the email on July 4, 2011 saying that McNair is in trouble.  In trouble!  With the budget and economic times the way they are, the federal government was only going to refund two-thirds of McNair programs nationwide.  That meant only 134 of 200 programs would be refunded.  Not good!

So our goal: write a perfect grant.  We had to!  Nothing like putting on the pressure.  No biggie, we can do this.  This was my second time writing the grant so at least I had experience under my belt.  I also had Maureen.  Long story short, Maureen is a McNair scholar, turned McNair graduate assistant/Ph.D. student and ah-mazing comrade and partner.  Did I mention that Maureen is a highly skilled writer, communicator, researcher and generally highly knowledgeable about all-things-McNair?  Yeah, she’s with me.

I enlisted Maureen’s help on the grant and she spent the greater portion of the spring semester updating all of our sources that *demonstrate need* for a McNair program at CMU.  I focused on other “goodies” like the plan of operation, budget, objectives and the like.  This time around, the Department of Education included the "option" for us to address several “competitive priorities” if we chose to.  Certainly a “no brainer” since we needed to accumulate all the points we could.  Suffice it to say, doing more with less and recruiting more STEM students is the name of the game! 

As an already well-established McNair program producing Ph.D.’s yearly (we have THREE to date with over twenty more in the Ph.D. pipeline), we also had the benefit of scoring additional “prior year experience points” – also an essential item if we were to make the cut!  Despite never quite knowing how those prior year experience points were figured from year to year, the Department actually told us how they do it during a recent COE conference.  Based on that information, we knew that we would secure all points accessible to us.  Yes!

Things came to a head the week the grant was due which happened to coincide with both Maureen and I escorting our McNair scholars to a Graduate School Training Camp hosted by Murray State University in the “far reaches” of Kentucky.  Needless to say, all of the McNair directors present at camp were pretty darn stressed.  We compared notes, shared drafts and told each other that all we could do was our best.  Okay, that sounds good, right?  I won’t go into the details, but one or two breakdowns (some more major than others) later, we submitted the grant upon our return. 

I have to mention the calm, capable and steady presence of Deborah Clark – our grants person – who took us through every step of the process (which is convoluted to say the least – come on, it’s the federal government) and all I have to say about that is – I love you, Deb.  You ROCK!  Seriously, other programs that don’t have such awesome grants folks are up a creek plain and simple.  This is now our second time through with Deb!

June 7 came and went, and for a while, we chilled.  We chilled meaning we didn’t think as much about the grant.  We were in full force with the Summer Research Institute and working with our current group of scholars.  My stomach returned to normal and before we knew it, it was getting more challenging to make a turn onto Mission (meaning students were creeping back!) and school was about to start again.  I knew I had to proceed with our normal recruitment efforts despite not knowing if we would be able to service this next group of scholars.  Talk about having to muster up some energy and excitement without really having *real* energy and excitement.  Not fun. 

Meanwhile, we were receiving almost daily emails from COE (Council on Opportunity in Education, our DC-based organization that advocates on behalf of Trio programs) updating us on advocacy efforts to restore McNair funding, calls to action for alumni, current students and faculty and supporters to sign petitions and contact their representatives.  No real positive information was coming from Washington despite such efforts.  A good number of McNair programs were going to be cut nationwide – to the tune of about 75 in all!

My anxiety level rising once again coincided with the start of the fall semester.  Everywhere I went people were asking me if I knew about our grant it seemed.  Nope!  No idea.  The last time we wrote (back in 2007), I distinctly remember attending COE’s annual conference in Chicago in mid-September and still NOT knowing if we were safe.  Our grant expires on September 30 every four years.  We found out September 17 that CMU made it!  You know, it’s always nice to have some planning time knowing that you will be continuing to run a program after the next two weeks. 

The Department of Education since became notorious for being slow to announce grantees for other Trio programs and the pressure was on to announce not only McNair, but Upward Bound Math and Science and Veterans Upward Bound.  Again, in dealing with the federal government, this would be no small feat!  One of the primary COE outreach strategies had actually been to postpone the McNair competition until after the elections.  Obviously that had not come to fruition.

One day after our program assistant interviews for a new job (because she doesn’t know if she’ll have a job come the end of the month!), I wake up to an email from COE stating that the McNair slate, as they call it, is out.  Now, you might think that we would simply all get emails, or a letter even, telling us YES or NO.  Ah, no, that would not be the case.  Instead, we all have to go “sleuthing around” to find out if we are refunded.  The Department sends letters to Congress who then makes this information public.  I immediately call my contact in Senator Stabenow’s office and leave a message.  Doug had called me as soon as our CMU Upward Bound program had been refunded (yes, CMU rocks!).  I then called my contact in Representative Camp’s office and left a message.  Then I called Toby Roth, CMU’s congressional staff person.  Then Mary Montoye called me for a reference for our program assistant, Julie.  Of course, I’m shaking and freaking out.  No biggie, I can give Mary a reference, no problem. 

I had just read my two daily emails – one from the Daily Love (check it if you haven’t - www.dailylove.com, it’s cool!) and the Winner’s Circle – and BOTH (yes, BOTH) talked about how sometimes life can really throw you big challenges and that even if the meaning isn’t immediately clear, those challenges make us stronger.  I immediately think: oh my gosh, we’re not being refunded.  I’m going to be jobless (I’m not even thinking about the scholars – sorry guys – at this point).  I’m mid-conversation with Mary and my cell beeps in with a 202 number – DC!  I say to Mary, “gotta go, call you back” and pick up.  It’s the educational aide from Camp’s office, I stop breathing and wait.  Ashton says she has GOOD NEWS.  OMG, jumping for joy, happy dance X100, trying to breathe, smiling uncontrollably, I can’t even believe it.  She got the letter late last night.  CMU IS IN!  Wow.

Seriously, I’m dancing around the house (I was home that day with our babysitter having started fall classes) and everyone was still sleeping, including Ken.  I call Mary.  I get Sue who passes me to Deb who then passes me back to Mary (they are all in the research office) and we are all ecstatic together.  Couldn’t be better!  Ah-mazing.  Who do I call next?  My mom, Ken’s mom, Ken finally wakes up to the good news, I call my friend Pat who also directs a McNair program in Michigan (she doesn’t know yet if she’s in – she must not have contacts like me – JUST KIDDING!), I’ve got other director friends emailing me, they don’t know either.  Pure craziness!  I text Julie and ask her to send a note to the scholars.  I call and leave a message for Maureen.  I post it on Facebook.  Love that!  I think I ended up with about 70 “likes” and a bunch of awesome comments.  McNair unite!  The only reason I really got on Facebook in the first place was to stay connected with our awesome alumni.

It’s been several weeks now since we got the news and I’m still in shock.  After being so deeply stressed (even if I could “ignore” it on the surface) for so long, it’s going to take a moment to decompress and get back onto a “normal” track and way of being.  As a matter of fact, I have to admit that I much prefer this way of being.  I LOVE this way of being.  I love that we can now move forward with recruiting our next cohort knowing that we will actually have a next cohort.  I love that I can get my current scholars on track applying to schools this fall and start booking plane tickets to go and visit their future faculty advisors!  I love that I can continue to move forward with my own coaching training and become even better at what I do.  If anything, this past year has been a tremendous gift in the form of giving me the confidence and inspiration to really embrace what I do and take it to a whole new level.  I’m just super pumped!

It’s been absolutely FANTASTIC walking around campus and sharing the news and joy!  I love that we have such an amazing support network of faculty, staff and students around campus.  It makes this work feel even more special and amazing than it is.  I just returned from New York after attending COE’s annual conference and I have to tell you – we are LUCKY!  The word on the street isn’t entirely complete and the fight continues as I write this, but McNair programs are being cut across the country in significant numbers.  Big, long-standing programs with great track records.  While this may be due to the reality of our current economic situation, I believe that it MAKES OUR WORK AT CMU EVEN MORE PRESSING and “of the essence.” 

Our job is to pluck motivated and curious students from the crowds.  Motivated students that come from some hard backgrounds but have persevered.  Motivated students who demonstrate a certain curiosity and passion for….SOMETHING…..FOR LIFE…..and want to take their education to a whole new level.  They just might not know exactly how to make that happen.  We work with these amazing students and get to witness their evolution and growth in a way that most do not.  We get to push, encourage, elevate, support, excite and witness the growth of our students.  The amount that we learn from our students and this work is simply icing on the cake.  There’s nothing better than receiving notes from our alumni around the country with their exciting news, or better yet, having our alumni come back to Mt. Pleasant after receiving their Ph.D. for a celebratory dinner with faculty, friends and mentors.  CMU McNair students ROCK, hands down!

We have our work cut out for us.  We couldn’t do it without the amazing faculty that give of themselves and their time and their expertise.  It never ceases to amaze me how many deeply caring – and interesting and inspiring – individuals we have that work with our students and support our McNair mission.  It is truly humbling.  So, I’d like to put forth a charge not only for our current scholars, but our future scholars as well.  Appreciate this opportunity and take full advantage of it.  McNair is special.  You are special.  Let us help you keep moving forward in your journey.  Get your Ph.D. and then give back.  Do GREAT things and then help others do GREAT things.  Together we can elevate the McNair mission to new heights.

Ghana: McNair Scholar Across the Pond

Hello Fellow Scholars!

I wanted to take a break today from writing on my own blog, and give you all a little sharing of my experiences and how they seem to be relating to what I want to do with my life after CMU.

This is Kojo - Which means born on Monday

So, to give some background I'll start with why I signed up for a trip to Ghana in the first place. As a student, I study biomedical science, which is pretty much as bench laboratory science as you can get. I have spent many hours (including my McNair summer research) working in a lab with fruit flies and test tubes, and lots of small calculations and figuring. That research was fine and dandy, but I guess deep down I really wanted to do something more with people. I have spent a long time focusing on Global Health in my spare time, which has really consumed my interested and steered my individual research from my bench-science focus to really a broader healthcare-focused work. I've been searching for months on where I want to put myself as a scholar in the future. Its simply been a toss up between medicine and graduate school, and through McNair I was guided toward combining the two. My MCAT got the best of me, and took that off the table, at least as an immediate applicant, so it was time to turn a cheek. That time came just as I was leaving for this trip.

These children were just on the street, and they loved us.

This trip focuses on International Nutrition. Nutrition is not even close to my major, but is pivotal when discussing global health, and therefore lies within my interests. I met the professor for this trip, Dr. Francis Tayie, and we spoke about my interests. He was excited that I was willing to go on the trip, even if it did not count toward my major. He was pumped about my enthusiasm. Anyway, at first it was not necessarily going to happen since there were financial difficulties and a lot to plan beforehand, but my Will provided and here I am.

This little boy's name is John! 

This trip for me has been an experience of a lifetime.  I have gained so much knowledge in Ghanaian culture it is ridiculous. I have also gained an important insight into the public health situations here, and it really makes you think about developing nations around the world, and how their healthcare systems are so different from our own.

I recently published a post on my own blog about the comparison between Ghanaian hospital care and US hospital care, so I will not restate it all, but I will give some highlights:

The statue is Cecily Williams, she pretty much invented
nutrition medicine for undernourished children.

Ghanaian hospitals are set up on a cash and carry system, meaning that a patient must pay separately and that day for every aspect of their treatment, from medicines (even those used in wards for overnight stays) to labs (yes, even getting simple blood draws), even down to the cost of checkin, which by the way is 7 GHC (about $3.50 USD) at the hospital I was checked into for a mild case of malaria. Don't worry, I'm fine, malaria isn't really that bad, but it will be something I can look forward to sharing my experience with!

The Whole group and the teachers at Bright Lillies
preschool in Accra, Ghana

Anyway, the experience of looking at the conditions of the hospitals here, both the one I went to for my own health called Lapaz, and the one I went to for our class called Princess Marie Louise Children's Hospital, have opened my eyes to show me even more why a career in public health, focusing on global perspectives is one I should pursue. I am excited to continue my trip and then really reflect upon these experiences in choosing where and how to apply this fall.

I hope everyone is having a great summer, and I hope you all take advantage of the McNair program. Things can change rapidly before, during, and after, but overall, you have the world at your feet and amazing people to teach you how to walk. Enjoy it, and let's keep in touch! 

Living for now,
Justin Mendoza
McNair Scholars 2011

The Feeling Is Relative

Hey all this blog is just a reflection of my experiences so far while doing my research in Madison. It's been a very enlightening and wonderful summer for me and these are my thoughts on it all. I hope that it helps you all gain some perspective and understanding. I also think we should all take the time to do this. It's extremely helpful :-) hope you enjoy

I posted a question on my facebook status this past week asking about a 1000 of my closest friends this question. “ How do you want to feel about your life?”  It’s a pretty simple question, not asking too much of an individual. I got it from an audio book that Lynn lent me, called The Fire Starter Sessions That by Danielle LaPorte. (I suggest you check it out if you can) It was while listening to this book that I realized that I’ve never really been asked how I want to feel about my life. I’ve been countlessly questioned about what I want to do, where I want to be , and the type of person I want to be.  But never once has anyone bothered to ask what I wanted to feel about my life.  Because of this I realized that I had no idea. I couldn’t answer the question. I could easily recite my elevator speech that would easily address the first three but literally had no idea how to address how I wanted to feel about it all.

Through McNair I have very much become sure of my future. I have defined my research interests. I’ve gotten a taste of what life at grad school will be like. I can actually see my PhD in my hand.  I am happy with my answers. In fact I am sure of them. But there is no doubt that something is missing. I know! That sounds crazy. I mean I have everything that any hopelessly lost but hard driven undergrad would want, more even. Obviously I understand that being so young  I am not supposed to have all the answers. It is normal for me to feel this clueless and have no idea why I can’t seem to be satisfied with my circumstances.  So after a week of reflection and examining the feedback of my much appreciated facebook friends I realized exactly how I want to feel about my life.

1.          I want to feel alive. Though I am living, I have actually not been living my life. I have not experienced anything new, bold or outside comfort zone. Which is why I decided to come to UW-Madison for my summer research. Being here I have become more enlightened, both in my research and general life. The fresh new environment is exactly what I needed to add some spice to  my bland living. Everyday has been a new experience, from navigating my own way to realizing that yes I am now an adult . But also realizing that in being an adult how I start living  now is exactly how the rest of my life is going to be. As such, I want to spend everyday of my adult life being excited. Meanwhile understanding that whatever my choice of higher education, whether it's Madison or not, the important factoid to remember is to actually live my life and enjoy it.

2.                I don’t want to settle. I believe it was the infamous Don Asher who said fit and match equals admission. Through all the GREing and personal statements, I have come to find that nothing is truer than this statement.  I have come to realize that being selective in every aspect of my life is what will bring me the most fruitful opportunities. For me it is no longer just about saying yes to make someone else happy because I see no other doors. It is about having faith, believing in myself, and realizing that to be at my best I have to choose what I feel is best. I have to decide what will make me happy and with every part of me go for it.

3.                I want to be influential. My definition of influential does not just encompass social change or advocacy. Instead it includes the small stuff. The little things that go unnoticed but seem to make the greatest difference. Doing this is what makes me happiest. The warm smiles I give to light up one person. Taking the time to be a listening ear. Saying thank you more often than not and all the other cheesy clichés of kindness we so often forget about. I want to recognize the little battles, the every day struggles that we face. After all it is the small steps we take that help make those big ones happen.

I’m not sure if doing this will help figure everything out.  But I am certain it’s a start. Embracing these experiences and realizing that in anything I want, whether it’s getting into graduate school, falling love, or getting that perfect job, I need to realize how I want to feel about it all. Truly taking the time to see why what I am are doing is important. I suggest the same for my fellow scholars not just to find answers, but to bring clarity and perspective especially during these most critical times of our lives. 

It's All About Your Passion

I'm inspired to write about PASSION.  I'm inspired to write about passion for our "new" scholars who really aren't so "new" anymore as they get ready to present their research at tomorrow's symposium.  I'm inspired to write about passion for our "older" scholars, some of whom are getting ready to graduate and start their graduate career.  Others are continuing their undergraduate work and seizing new and amazing opportunities - like doing more research at other institutions and even countries!

It's all about the passion baby!  Right?  Several of our scholars recently presented at Dr. Hernandez's College 101 program for at-risk high school students and talked about "finding your passion."  Dr Hinck and I spoke about how the best research presentations come from scholars who allow their passion to come through to the audience.  I can tell you for a fact that our scholars who are starting their graduate programs next fall are passionate about taking this next step in their journey.  They wouldn't have received such spectacular funding offers if they weren't!

You can't fake passion, nor can you just make it appear out of thin air.  You can tell when someone really has passion, can't you?  I believe it's combination of opening yourself to possibilities and opportunities, while being true to yourself.  You'll feel it when you have it!  Read Freddy's post (One Day at a Time) on his first year in grad school at IU and he talks about his passion and already starting to feel like a "real" scientist....

McNair gives you the chance to experience research.  Asking questions and finding the answers can be exhilarating, for sure.  Sure, along with the exciting part comes the hard work which can sometimes be pretty mundane, cumbersome and even frustrating.  That's where the passion comes in!  It's the passion that carries you through...and allows you to "pop out" the other end....when it comes time to present your work in front of a group of people and express the importance of your findings....when it comes time to tell a graduate admissions committee what you are going to do with your Ph.D. in "fill in the blank" and why there is no other better choice for you.

So, here's to YOUR passion!  To finding it.  To nurturing it.  To sustaining it on ALL levels.  Now that's the best!

Island Time

Hello all, Lynn asked that I post this affirmation. As we rush into finals and to the pseudo-freedom that awaits us in summer, I often find myself wondering about why we do things the way we do and why we rush everything we do. This of course got me thinking about other cultures and how they differ from our own. I have found that these affirmations are a good place to take note of how we currently view our lives against the backdrop of the world, our futures, and our current states of mind. So, per Lynn’s request here is my most recent affirmation. --Justin C.

Island Time
As I prepared for my trip to the Marquesas I was bombarded with references to “Island Time.” People spoke as if the flow of time was actually slowed by the remoteness of the islands. Now that I am here I get their meaning. This would be an interesting topic for a cultural anthropologist to study, had they the endurance to drift back and forth between cultures. Is it the longer days that make people move without any sense of urgency? Is it the rhythm of the ocean that guides their pace? Who knows? All I know is that adjusting back to American life is going to be painful. Sure we awake at dawn here on the island, but somehow it is easy to rise with the sound of roosters and waves to greet you. I dread the sound of my alarm clock calling me to a fast paced college life. I love college but I think the musician Jack Johnson got it right in his song “Breakdown.” I think Americans could stand to slow down and appreciate the world a bit more. I will never understand why we all wish to rush through life and only relax in our retirement years. I am reminded of the saying “Youth is wasted on the young.” Perhaps if we all learned to enjoy each day by following the rhythms of Island Time we would not have to wait until we are old to truly appreciate life.

Gratitude

At a time when the level of economic uncertainty is so high for the vast majority of people, I consciously try to focus on all of the little things that make life really great.  For me, this might be enjoying the ride to town with my girls, or taking the time to read something inspirational, or checking out the spring flowers that are surfacing around campus.  These are things that I'm thankful for despite sometimes being carried away by all of life's day-to-day pressures and worries.

Another thing that I'm very thankful for is my work.  I am thankful for the opportunity to work with students and help them grow their potential.  I am thankful for being able to extend opportunities to students that they probably wouldn't have had the chance to experience otherwise.

I think an important part of this work is instilling a sense of gratitude in our students.  For some, it's already there.  For others, this could be a chance for nurturing and growth.  I don't what it is really.  It could have to do with certain exposures during our upbringing or it could be a result of our modern, fast-paced society.  Either way, I think it's important to take note of all of the awesome things we experience everyday and give thanks.  I personally don't think we do this often enough.

I remember what Father John always used to say (a priest from the church where my parents go) - "Have a nice day and don't take it for granted."  Simple and sweet but not something that's always easily attainable.  Don't take it for granted.

McNair students have access to many resources and opportunities.  The truth is, a significant amount of taxpayer money is being funneled into your futures - about $10,000 in fact.  This money is being spent to help each of you grow your talents, explore your passions, build your confidence, create relationships that will spur your success.  I think we all need to be thankful for that.  As I'm working on our grant, I am intimately reminded of just how much is being put toward scholar success.  In return, I think it's important that all of our scholars become individuals who can speak up and say "thank you" - a lot!  Say thank you to someone who holds open a door, say thank you to a professor who spends an extra five minutes with you to talk, say thank you to your mom for calling to say hi, say thank you to each other for sharing this amazing experience together.

I have to be honest and tell you that through the years, I have been disappointed and saddened by the trend of "entitlement" and lack of gratitude among some.  I want to be clear that this isn't about wanting to constantly be hearing "thank you" "thank you" thank you" all of time.  Sure, it's nice to be recognized for our efforts, but what I'm getting at is something bigger.  It's creating a foundation of gratitude that will not only be present among our group, but will move beyond and travel with each of you in your journey.  I feel personally responsible for putting the resources of the McNair program to good use!  I also encourage and expect our scholars to take these resources seriously and use them to their fullest extent.  Please be an example to others and show your gratitude on a daily basis. 

Be thankful for these amazing gifts - big and small - each and every day.

What a Difference One Month Can Make

This was my October reflection.  I wanted to share it because one single month really brought about a great change in my emotional state and my excitement level.  ENJOY!
__________________________ 

 

What an absolute difference a month can make.  I remember feeling down and depressed, unable to move forward, overall concerned about my future while still not making true progress towards it.  Actually, it wasn’t that bad, but it came close.  Then, as if the productivity fairy blessed me with “do-it” dust, I started tackling my tasks with vigor.  I started to feel better, now that I was armed with goals, a to do list, and deadlines.  I was not longer lost in the totality of my tasks.  I had conquered them and, by doing so, I had broken the funk I was in.

Another point for McNair.  And I don’t mind them winning.

I think it would be useful for me, and McNair, to see the progress I have made.  So, here is a list of actions taken and achieved since my last reflection:

• Sent over 50 emails to professors at my top 14 schools.
• Received 70% or so response rate to those emails, including long replies filled with advice and guidance.
• I have targeted 11 schools for applications based on the results above, my interest in the program, and the possibility of acceptance.
• Finalized my letter of recommendation writers, set up meetings with them, discussed my schools, and began the process of getting those letters.
• Met with Professors Smith, Green, Hall, Jones, and Robertson to discuss my potential for admission into a graduate program.  The main concern was my GRE and transcript; all professors saw my overall package as promising.
• I was approved, and very blessed, for travel to Indiana University, as well as visits to my Michigan schools.
• I have skimmed over at least one article from each of my targeted professors.
• I have wrote, reviewed, edited, and revised my statement of purpose and CV at least 15 times, all with the help of multiple people, including Lynn Curry, my professors, a few writing center sessions, and my mother.

THE MORALE OF MY STORY:  I think it’s important for me to remember my accomplishments.  Even more importantly, I need to remember that hard work accomplishes real goals; that if I take a few steps forward at first, I will eventually reach my destination.  I also need to remember that clichés, although overused, do sound good, and look even better on paper.

This Time, Last Year

This time of year is special because we get to see all the hard work of our current cohort come to fruition (through research presentations, applications to grad school, etc.) and we get to round up another highly motivated group of scholars to continue on with the charge of obtaining their Ph.D.’s. That’s what McNair is about – taking your education to the level of a Ph.D. so that you have greater options for the kind of work you ultimately do.

So, as I meet with our new prospective scholars and get ready to read their applications and interview each one, I became inspired to revisit each of your statements that you submitted in order to become a McNair scholar. This time, last year – this is what you had to say:

“As a psychology and youth studies major my goal is to gain expertise in these areas and obtain a Ph.D. Anything worth achieving usually requires great commitment, and a Ph.D. in psychology is worth my efforts.”
~Maame Adomako

“My professional goals are to finish graduate school, receive my Ph.D. in Communication and ultimately, teach Intercultural Communication or Gender Communication. I want to teach students how to successfully solve conflicts that they may have with someone from a different racial or ethnic background.”
~Donnesha Blake

“I want a career that will be my life. When I got my first taste of archaeology I knew that I had found my calling….after a lifetime of wondering I can finally say that I know who I am and what I want from life. I am determined to receive my Ph.D. and to become the first professor in my family.”
~Justin Cramb

“While the ultimate goal is to earn a Doctor of Philosophy degree, I am as interested and driven to research and publish within my field of study and to share that knowledge through teaching and mentoring college students. As a non-traditional student, I possess an unwavering commitment and preparedness in pursuing my aspirations of becoming a university professor.”
~Eric Denby

“Being a college professor would give me the opportunity to share my story and inspire those that felt the way that I did. It would also give me the opportunity to share the gifts that I have been given.”
~Tanisha Finister

“My professional goals are to conduct research in the field of clinical psychology. I ultimately see myself at a university, teaching and being very involved in research...graduate school and a Ph.D. program particularly, is vital to my being able to achieve my career goals.”
~Melissa Hanell

“My goal is to become a professional historian. I desire to be on the frontlines of academic research as it relates to the Middle East. In addition to pursuing a Ph.D., I plan to become a military officer.”
~Timothy Kimbel

“A doctoral degree is essential to being a leading force in any discipline, as the holders of such a degree are at the forefront of developing new concepts and ideas that lead to the betterment of all society. “
~Masani McGee

“I want to pursue a M.D. /PhD. I will be prepared for that step just out of pure determination. A Ph.D. would mean that I could continue work with neurodegenerative disease as I am interested in… not just practicing medicine directly, but also finding new ways to save lives outside of the operating room, and inside the laboratory.”
~Justin Mendoza

“My primary professional goal is to do everything I can to help families like my own by developing community-based programs that will enrich the lives of every day individuals by empowering them to help themselves attain a healthier lifestyle. Earning a Ph.D. will act as a stepping stone, qualifying me to perform research and fill gaps in nutritional information, while also allowing me to work to change the lives of others by passing my passion and knowledge on.”
~Jennifer Messing

“I plan to apply to graduate schools to earn a doctoral degree in Public Health Education. In order to reach my goal of teaching at the college level as a professor, I realize that a Ph.D. is vital. A Ph.D. is a prestigious degree, and I know that having this degree opens up so many opportunities in life.”
~Carissa Schmidt

“I am in pursuit of a Ph.D. not only for the knowledge that I could gain, and the information that I could contribute, but also the opportunities that I would not have if I did not pursue a Ph.D. I want to become a marriage and family therapist to help lower the 50% rate of divorce, and try to increase the number of solid families.”
~Marquitta Swann

These statements inspire me! I hope they continue to inspire you! You guys rock!

So Lynn resurrected the blog. YAY!!! LOL. I wasn't too sure I would have much too say but I just had one of the moments of utter inspiration. Okay that was awkward-- (utter, I never use that word). But I posted on my Facebook status today about my experience in meeting a prospective scholar. I said "Today I met someone who just touched my soul and inspired me to continue to keep pressing forward in my journey. Just to the see the resilience in young African American women is inspiring and it motivates me to find a path that I can touch and inspire the lives of young women who seek to better themselves even through their struggles. When someones touches my heart it's for real and I it brought me back to where I need to be. #XOXO"

Meeting this prospective student and hearing her story really touched my heart. And sure you hear people's story but something about this girl just made me want to connect with her and talk to her and learn from her story. Okay when I say she touched my soul I never say stuff like that, and then I gave her a huge hug (definitely not me), but today she changed my life. I just felt something so genuine about her and I like to say that I am good judge of character (lol).

Lately I have become so desensitized to the world around me that I forgot that people have struggles that are beyond their control and when they beat the odds that is truly significant. Recently I have decided to pursue African American and/or Women's Studies. My research interests revolve around African American women's experiences. I have been struggling to write my personal statement because I really couldn't articulate why I wanted to study African American women through either program. But now I know why...I am captivated by the resiliency of African American women; we share stories that unite us; but our differences are also inspiring. I know that I want to study the lives of Black women because we have a story that needs to be told and it starts with the girl I met casually in the library she has a story, and it's my mother's story, my female relatives--it's their story, it's the story of women like Harriet Tubman, Toni Morrison, bell hooks, Maya Angelou, Michelle Obama, and yes Beyonce. It's the story of struggle, passion, resilience, and success and it's the story of me.

So I thank this girl because little does she know she brought me back to feeling the love for humankind (as hippish as that sounds). She ignited a flame in me and I will always be grateful.

P.S. Lynn, I have to tell you her name because I really hopes she joins our McNair family. LOL

Resurrecting Our Blog!

My bad for not posting on our blog since July and the big “take the GRE” day! Can’t believe it already mid-October and that we have scholars presenting and traveling to conferences and visiting graduate schools. It’s always exciting to see our scholars “putting into action” all of the work they completed during the Summer Research Institute and bringing their visions to reality. During this busy time of year, I thought the following post from the Winner’s Circle would be a good piece to get the ball rolling again on the blog. I encourage you to post (especially those of you presenting and applying!) to share your experiences and to past along those “nuggets of wisdom” that you are, for sure, accumulating. Cheers to a great fall season!

--lmc

Winner's Circle Network with Lou Tice - "Solitude"
When was the last time you really spent quality time . . . with yourself? A word you don't hear much these days is "solitude." Maybe that is because it isn't experienced much. You know, if you put prisoners in solitary confinement, they go a little crazy, or they use the time to grow. Most of them go a little crazy because we're just not used to being alone. Humans are social beings. Too much solitude feels like punishment, but some is essential if we are really going to grow.

Others surround us at work, at home and just about everywhere else, but it is solitude we need for really deep thinking. I am convinced that one reason carpooling hasn't worked very well is because solitary driving time is precious to so many of us. I am also convinced that many busy people, who can afford it, hire others to drive them around because their time alone in the car is rare and invaluable, especially if you have to negotiate traffic.

A therapist friend of mine believes that one reason people make so much headway in therapy is because it provides built-in time and structure to focus attention inward. And a little solitude time is not being selfish; it can be a time of great renewal.

So if you want to really move ahead, take time every so often to be alone. Build it into your schedule to make sure it happens. Use it to think about where you are and where you want to go, and to problem solve, reflect, and re-connect with your heart's desires and challenges.

Lou Tice, The Pacific Institute, Inc.

It's All Good

Today was the big day, right? Several of you came by after the test to report the outcome. Like usual, some of you are likely surprised by scoring higher than you thought you would....and others, maybe are surprised (or a little bummed) about not scoring as well as you would have liked. And so it goes. I'm using my brother's phrase again - it's all good. I do believe that.

I want to commend each of you for working so hard this summer. On your research, on the GRE prep, on getting your stuff ready for grad school. It's sometimes hard to see when you are "in it" but you are all making great progress for your lives. You're figuring out your interests, you are developing your skills and you are creating more options for yourselves for the future. Pretty cool, I would say.

We all know that GRE is part of the grad process, in most cases. We know that not everyone is going to score according to the level that some programs will be looking for. I also think that you have heard enough stories about scholars making it through this hurdle and still getting in and getting funding regardless of their GRE score. My mantra - it's all about the contact and connectivity with folks at programs you want to get into. We're going to makes sure that you all have fantastic (SHAZAAM-style) personal statements, you will all have sparkling letters of recommendation and you all have the advantage of knowing (and having the resources and capability of doing so) that you need to visit your top-choice schools. That's where you are going to make the greatest impression and "nail the deal" - taking the GRE is just part of the process. It isn't going to make or break you. It's part of the process that you deal with and move on.

You are all amazing individuals. We love working with each of you. You all have so much to offer. I want you to know that whatever score you got today - be it great, mediocre or kinda poopy - we're going to continue to support you and work with you and that you will all find a path to the "best fit" for you in terms of your graduate education. Relax some, enjoy the summer weather that is in full swing and then get back to your research.....McNair-style....

"...Give the world the best you have...": A Quote on Forgiveness, Perseverance, Success, and much more

I have always struggled with balancing being myself and being the person others wanted me to be. I admit- I'm a people pleaser. Although I still struggle with this often, the following quote has been crucial in helping me believe that I can be myself and not focus so much on others needs over my own. While being attentive to and aware of others needs is not all bad, I feel that in the long run it is damaging to a person's sense of self-esteem to let other's thoughts and opinions bring you down. Most of all though, this quote inspires me to continue working hard, even if it doesn't seem worth it sometimes. I hope you all will find it helpful as well:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend hours building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough; give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
-Mother Theresa

Closing the Gap

First off, will someone please tell 'summer' to slow down! It always goes too fast, doesn't it? Especially when you are a McNair scholar busily working on your research, studying for the GRE and preparing to apply to graduate school. Yikes! That's alot. You are all working hard, yes you are. The SRI is intense, yes, but try to keep your eye to the 'big picture' of things. Keep your eye on your long-term vision of where you see yourself down the line, after you finish up your undergraduate career. The work you are doing right now is helping to define that vision and what your reality will ultimately be.

Think about how proactive you are being and how advantaged you are in terms of realizing your goals. You are developing your interests, exploring really cool programs that you could go to, thinking about how you want to develop your talents as a highly educated person.

The Winner's Circle just ran a nice piece on "closing the gap." Meaning closing the gap between your current reality and the vision you have in mind for your future. I think you might find it to be a good reminder of why you are doing what you are all doing right now.

"Closing the Gap"

How do you close the gap between the reality you are living in now and the life you want for yourself in the future? The life you are living right now is not the one you want to live. You could do and be so much more, and you know this. However, somehow things just never seem to change much for you.

Does this sound familiar? Are you or someone you are close to trapped in a life you don’t want, feeling stuck and unable to move? Let me make a suggestion. Why don’t you try imagining the future you want for yourself? Imagine it so vividly and specifically that you can actually see it. Then, take it even further. Hear it, taste it, feel it, walk around in it! Make it like a movie, starring you.

When you come back to reality, of course, you will be aware of a gap between where you are now and where you want to be – but that’s good! You see, it is this gap that releases your energy and creativity. Did you know that automobiles only move because they have a gap in the spark plug? There has to be room – a space – for the spark to ignite.

For us humans, that gap, between the way things are and the way we want them to be, is that space where our drive, energy and creativity have room to ignite. And the drive and energy are what is required to close the gap. Without a vision, a vivid picture of the future in the mind, there is no gap, and you will never discover your own power.

Try creating a vision, then work at strengthening it every day, and see what happens.

Lou Tice, The Pacific Institute

Perseverance

I knew the day was going to be a challenge when I witnessed bird-on-bird violence while I sat at the kitchen table contemplating recent events concerning my son's first year funding to attend CMU. I watched as a bird (who I'll call Bob) worked diligently to wrestle breakfast from the ground and wondered how I would fulfill all my responsibilities if I had to fight as hard to secure three daily meals. To my dismay a second bird (George) interrupted my pondering when he swooped down, pecked Bob in the face, and quick as lightning stole the hard won meal. All Bob's hard work was erased in an instance. Bob seemed to pause for a moment before taking flight and I wondered about his response. Was Bob sad, pissed, discouraged, defeated...? Would he muster the energy and courage to search for another meal or go hungry? Would he live to fight another day??

Poopy things happen in life. It is ok to feel what you feel about them but we all are responsible for our choices. If an obstacle delays our progress and we allow it to become a barrier, there are always other birds out there who are only too happy to continue the fight and secure what may have been our next meal. My son will overcome the obstacle created by the loss of 80% of his funding because he is hungry and he is passionate about his goals. He knows about the struggle to fund an education because he lived it with me as I searched endlessly for support to achieve my bachelor's degree. He also knows that it is possible to persevere and reach your goals; he was there when my name was read at the May 2009 graduation ceremony.

Although you will encounter obstacles on your path to earning a doctoral degree, will you allow them to become barriers? Will you persevere?

A Little Hand is a Big Thing ...

My reflection from last week focused on all the small things I do to sabotage my progress.  All the little excuses I can create and justify to stifle my success.  Interestingly, I ran across this story regarding spiritual progress from Paulo Coelho.  I thought it was cool enough to quote here.

Quoted from the June edition of Ode Magazine - www.odemagazine.com

Covering the Sun with One's Hand

A disciple sought out Rabbi Nahman of Braslaw and said, "I will no longer study the sacred texts. I live in a small house with my brothers and parents, and I never have the ideal conditions to be able to concentrate on what is important."

Nahman pointed to the sun and asked his disciple to place his hand in front of his face, so as to hide it. The disciple did as he was told.

"Your hand is small. However, it was able to entirely block the strength, the light and the majesty of the huge sun.  In the same way, small problems are able to give you the necessary excuse not to go on your spiritual search. Just as the hand has the power to hide the sun, mediocrity has the power of hiding your inner light. Do not blame others for your own incompetence."

It's All Good.

I’m trying to think of the best way to put it. “It’s all good” is what I’m coming up with. You’ve probably heard me say that before. I think I get it from my brother Billy, an eternal optimist and just one of those people with, all in all, good vibes. He plays the drum for a living, really.

You can check it at: www.skinnybeatsdrums.com. I digress!

But seriously, it is all good. The path that we’re all on, right? This time of year can be intense and stressful and at the same time a bit suspenseful and super exciting. I’m speaking to our “older” scholars when I talk about all of the “fruits of your labor” starting to ripen. That’s a cheesy way to say that, huh? Really though, you all busted a-- this past summer and fall, and you’ve been traveling a here and there and a here and there – everywhere – as of late, all with the purpose of securing a future for yourselves that most likely will be including a graduate education.

I’m thinking of Kayla down as MSU and Freddy at IU just this past Friday. Jenn trucking down to Nashville and then Oklahoma. And, Bianca making “several” trips to Andrews University quite awhile ago actually, and then more recently “making a stop-over” or shall I say “stop-up” at North Texas. Blaise cruised down to Ohio; Amanda went there on two different occasions actually, in addition to making it over to Indiana. John was in New York and then South Carolina. Cyrus just scoped out Kansas. Freddy already hit up IU last fall (before his “formal interview trip” last week) and Arizona State University. Helena, gosh, where has Helena been? Jet setting to UNC in North Carolina, then Salt Lake City and then Alabama! Kayla is flying out to Denver this coming Friday and Lindsay is making a stop in Denton, TX before heading to Vegas for spring break. Whew! I’m tired just trying to recap that all.

Side Note: ask Jeanine how much she loves putting together our “travel summaries” for reimbursement and tracking purposes this time of year! Talk about challenging….

I love this time of year, even though I do get nervous. I try to remind myself – which is the point of this blog post in case you were wondering – that things will all work out as they are meant to. This is one big, sometimes complicated and convoluted process. I’m guessing that most of you would agree. It’s your life! I just wrote to Kayla and said that this stuff is important and we all need to put forth some serious effort (which in my mind, you all have), but then, I think it’s also about letting some of that go (you know, the stuff in your head) about expectations and worry and things like that. It’s amazing to see how the level of confidence among all of the scholars soars at this point in McNair. We see you come in the office, right before a trip, a bit nervous perhaps, but *really polished* in your intent and preparations for the trip. While we might not all get what we were thinking we would, we will all get what it is we should. We’ll all get ourselves onto a path that is meant for us. At least that’s how I like to think of it. And, I always have to throw this in there – we’re (your lovely McNair family) just really lucky to have been one part of that *really cool* journey, along the way! --LMC

So I am definitely supposed to be reading an article for my research right now, but I was so inspired to write that I had to take a quick break. This week I went to yoga and the instructor read one of my favorite quotes. It's a quote from Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love. Here goes:

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

I first heard this quote when I saw the movie Coach Carter. I loved this quote so much that I printed off copies of it during my senior year in high school and posted it all over my room. This quote reminds me to tell myself that I am GREAT and I that shouldn't apologize for it!!! I think we all have those moments that we think man I'm nothing but a small insignificant specimen on this huge planet, who am I too think I am more than that? Or we might say who I am to think that I am a smart and beautiful person, that is so presumptuous? Well actually we're not insignificant and we're not arrogant for thinking we are amazing. We are not even being presumptous (yay I used a word on our vocab list Maureen should be proud) when we take the time to recognize our own greatness. We are taking the time to give ourselves that pat on the back that people otherwise wouldn't give us. This quote can be a great confidence builder, and a word of encouragement when we're feeling down. It helps us to look beyond just being ordinary to recognize the how extraordinary we really are.

XOXO
Donnesha

The Power of Affirmations

Today I am posting a short piece from Lou Tice at the Pacific Institute on affirmations since the new group will be turning in their first monthly tomorrow. I strongly encourage each of you to sign up for Lou's daily email (I know it's another thing to add to the list, but it is totally worth it, in my opinion). He sends out a *brief* message on a range of topics mostly related to living an awesome and fulfilling life. Please try it and let me know what you think. I tend to post some of Lou's stuff that coincides with McNair happenings and topics at hand, like the one for today! I have personally found Lou’s advice to be very helpful through the years…

Here is the link to sign up - you can always unsubscribe if you find that you aren't into it.

http://www.pacificinstitute.co.uk/pages/productsWinnersCircle.asp

"Power of Affirmations"

One of the things that I talk about a great deal in my work at The Pacific Institute is the power of affirmations. You know, some communication systems, like those used by the armed forces, use the word "affirmative" instead of "yes." And that is what an affirmation is: saying "yes" to something. In a formal debate, the side that upholds the truth of the proposition is called the "affirmative side." So when you make an affirmation, you are saying, "Yes, I believe in the truth of this."

Affirmations, combined with visualizations or mental images, are a highly effective way of moving into new situations without anxiety. They can also help you achieve goals of every conceivable kind. Many professional athletes use affirmation and visualization along with practice to help them play at peak form more often. I remember a javelin thrower some time ago who had just surpassed his personal best record. He said, "It feels like déjà vu. I have seen myself do this so many times before in my mind."

You see, his subconscious didn't know the difference between a vividly imagined throw and the real thing. So he was training his body to throw perfectly with his mind. And it was no surprise when he finally did throw perfectly. The same is true for you and whatever you want to do. If you rehearse the future over and over in your mind and see yourself performing perfectly, you will be dramatically increasing your chances of bringing that future easily and free-flowingly into reality.

--Lou Tice, The Pacific Institute