A note to the soon-to-graduate: Your life is about to change

Hello McNair Scholars,

As an introduction to the newer cohorts, including the cohort of 2014, who I'm sure are all really excited to hear from former members of the McNair Program, I thought I would write this letter. My name is Justin Mendoza, I was a member of the 2011 McNair Cohort at Central Michigan University. It was honestly one of the best experiences I've been through as a student. I can remember that summer in Mount Pleasant, working on research that I felt at the time was extremely important to my life. The things to never take for granted in the program are definitely the connections you'll have with the directors and advisors you're connected to. Even more than the research, these connections will give you the things you need to graduate and get into graduate school, communication skills, a support system, and also letters of recommendation. Even more important are the content of conversations themselves. I remember talking with one of my advisors (who at the time was a grad assistant with McNair) who told me that I sounded more like a "public health guy"to be honest, I hadn't ever thought about public health, I thought at that time that I wanted to get a PhD in Neuroscience. After the conversation with her, I started to look at graduate programs in Public Health.

Now, post-McNair, I have the privilege of attending graduate school, granted not in the field I originally set out as a McNair scholar in, and also not in a PhD program (yet), but I am earning my Master's in Public Health from Yale School of Public Health, and I honestly have McNair to thank largely for that.

But this letter isn't just about the McNair experience, its really about the experience that comes soon thereafter, the experience of moving on from your roots at CMU. Through your life to this point, and even with what time you have left with McNair (yes, even you, graduating seniors), you will and have made the strongest connections possible at CMU. At least, that is what I did, and what I hope you did. In a matter of weeks, or maybe a year to the younger scholars, you will be walking in front of a stage full of faculty from departments all around the university. The university provost, president, vice provosts, and department chairs will sit, ornate in their hoods, watching you as you wait to receive a scroll, symbolizing your diploma and your accomplishment (Spoiler alert, the scroll is from the alumni network, asking for donations already... enjoy that). You'll then hear a few more speeches about the world and life beyond college, and then you'll march out of the Events Center to a bright, bustling crowd, including your parents, family, lovers, and friends. There will be hugs, tears, and all together a relief that you finally had a reward for finishing that final paper at 4am instead of going to the Bird (we've all been there). But then, that's it. You're no longer a student at CMU, and you're going to leave your roles behind forever.

In my case, I knew I'd never be an alternative breaks site leader at CMU, the leader of the UAEM chapter there, or a researcher in brooks or the department of public health as I was. For you, maybe you'll never be a non-alumn of that sorority or fraternity, or never again be the leader of your student organization, maybe you even started it. But this is not a sad time, I promise. Leaving CMU's wonderful place behind is going to rock your world.

Graduate school is hard work, so I'd say take a vacation this summer. Relax. Go to the beach, enjoy a Mai-thai, watch lots of movies, see those old friends and family you've been saying you'll visit for years, because many of you will leave Michigan entirely as you transcend into graduate school. Any way you slice it, this summer you need a break, and it'll be over before you know it.

Next thing you know, you'll be walking into orientation at your new school. You'll be told all about the new curriculum, the resources available to you, grad assistantships (if you haven't lined one up yet), and might even hear about the night life and student groups. You'll meet new peers, all feeling just as nervous  about this new place as you, who will want to get coffee, get a drink, get pizza, etc. My advice, do it all. The beginning of the year is mostly syllabi (nope, that doesn't change), so enjoy your freedom and get to know your classmates.

You'll notice right away that no one has the same path from undergrad to here. Some may have worked, some have entirely different undergraduate fields from you, some come from ivy leagues, some from big ten schools. But your roots don't matter that much, you're all peers now, even Western students can be your friends!

But the truth is, you'll love it in grad school. No more useless classes (for the most part) everything will be tailored to what you want to be an expert in. I'd advise you to take advantage of any opportunity you see. There're more speakers on interesting topics for grad students, there'll be seminars with free food and great older students presenting their research like you will some day. Take advantage, learn as much as you can outside of your own research and courses, along with the traditional things. That is beauty of it. But always remember the balance McNair tried to teach you. Go to the gym, seriously, its an amazing place to think about life. Travel with your new friends, you'll be around new sites, and it is so fun to go to new places!

Overall, this is an exciting time, and you will truly enjoy it. I sure know that I have, and I don't think it's something unique to me. Grad-life is amazing, and although you may miss CMU from time-to-time, just remember its time for someone else to shine where you once did!

Rock on Scholars,
Justin Mendoza
McNair Scholar, 2011
MPH Candidate 2015
Health Policy
Yale School of Public Health


PS - if you ever have any questions - justin.mendoza@yale.edu

One Day at a Time

Freddy Lee is a CMU McNair Scholar Alumni who graduated May 2011 and started his Ph.D. program in Microbiology at Indiana University this past fall.  He received the McNair Fellowship which totally covers his graduate education.  Freddy wrote to me not too long ago and told me that I could share this with you!  Here are some *nuggets of wisdom* especially for those of you getting ready to begin your own graduate career.  :-)  We miss you, Freddy!

Freddy presenting his research in Lansing at Posters on the Hill
Photo compliments of Robert Barclay

The "skinny" on my first year at IU thus far....so, the first semester was by far the hardest yet with the course load, amount of reading, lab rotations, and just getting adjusted to graduate school/life. I would say it took me a solid month and half to deal with the stress level. Here are a few "Aha! moments" (as Oprah would say) that helped me deal with grad school a little better.

1. Realizing I don't/won't know everything about science...and that's okay. This is the reason I'm in grad school, to build a more in-depth knowledge of science.
2. Figuring out the expectation for grad school
3. Making sure to schedule "me" time (tennis, going out with friends ect.). It's very easy to forget about yourself when you have a to-do-list 50ft. long.
4. And as always, Approach the to-do-list (assignments, presentations, reading etc. I'm nearly a master at this thought process, but I still catch myself thinking too far ahead, and have to refocus myself to the task(s) at hand.

This current semester is much easier than the previous, I'm sure becoming adjusted to grad school plays a major role. Currently, I'm taking 12 credits (4 courses and research). At the beginning of this semester, I chose a permanent lab to join and I'm working on examining the microbial community in the Honey Bee stomach, and trying to determine the role the microbes play on the overall health of the bee. I absolutely love my lab! I definitely feel I made the right choice with concern to my research interest and lab comfort. Thus far in my graduate experience, I have learned so much about research in biology, and can feel myself slowly evolving into a scientist...it's pretty exciting.

So things are going well!  And, I'm taking it one day at a time.

The Paradox of Too Many Choices

Lynn wanted me to share this reflection with y'all.  Hope you enjoy!

______________________

The Paradox of too Many Choices

            What a fantastic predicament to be in.  Not only am I accepted to multiple graduate schools (Western Michigan, Ohio, Wayne, Michigan State, and Northern Illinois) but I have two that are offering essentially the same funding package.  Instead of worrying about pursuing my Ph.D., I have the problem of picking which one is better.  It’s absolutely great.

            To assist in my decisions, I’ve created a score card of sorts. The easy and conformable choice is Western; it’s close to my mother’s house, my hometown, and I am very familiar with Kalamazoos.  It is also a bigger program, closer to archives and outstanding libraries, and lies on the Amtrak train line between East Lansing and Chicago.  But it is not Ohio University, which offers a very neat professor who is widely published and close to my specialty.  It is also, or at least used to be, a more prestigious program.  I have some very tough decisions indeed.

            Here is a brief description of each of my criteria.  I am ranking them on a plot of 1 to 5, with 5 being the most desirable or best fit.  Although I won’t only use this tool as my decision maker, I will see how these two programs rank up in a qualitative way.

• The actual size of the Library with regards to books and collections.
• The number of Americanists on staff, whether tenure, tenure track, or adjunct.
• The number of possible professors I could work with.
• The prestige and rank of the institution.
• The access to archives that are close to my field (labor, radicalism, political left wing).
• The number of Ph.Ds conferred.
• The number of history faculty, which will show the strength of the department.
• The number of current Graduate students.
• The quality of the professors (this is where I will give big points to the program that has super-duper professors).
• The cost of living
• The cost of rentals
• The intellectual culture (does the program have a speaker series, does the college bring in speakers, etc.)
• The social and cultural life I may have in that town (restaurants, neat shops, artsy-fartsy things)

So at this point I find myself back and forth between two seemingly equal programs.  Although Ohio has a perfect professor, Western has many really good professors.  Although Ohio is ranked higher, Western has a larger department, both overall and in US history.   It will be very interesting to see how this all shakes up.  I’ve decided to choose by next weekend (April 6).

A Look Back on the Thesis...

As a little bit of background, I was a member of the 2009 McNair cohort, graduated from CMU with my B.S. in Psychology and English (Creative Writing) with a minor in Leadership in May of 2010, and began my graduate work in August 2010 at Portland State University’s (PSU) Applied Industrial-Organizational Psychology Ph.D. program. I blog about my adventures in grad school and Portland, Oregon, at loveistheteacher.tumblr.com. This is my first guest post on the CMU McNair blog!

I’m wrapping up the first quarter of my second year in graduate school, and boy…how the time flies! I remember my time with McNair well—the weeks of research, writing, data collection and analysis, frantic studying for the GRE, the madness of applying to graduate schools, and the awful period of waiting that came with seeing all of my applications off. After visiting two of my potential schools, I knew I wanted to attend Portland State University—and I’m so thankful to say that two years after I sent off my application, I still feel the very same way.

Very early in my graduate school experience, my advisor began to gently push me towards exploring thesis topics. This process began with weekly meetings. In order to prepare for these, I was asked to read my advisor’s publications and bring any questions or thoughts I may have had about them. My advisor pushed me to articulate my interests and passions around the articles I read, and she would often ask questions like, “If you had to design a study from this, what would you do?” Quite intimidating for someone in their first quarter of graduate school! However, meetings like these helped me to learn how to quickly think on my feet, as well as get increasingly familiar with research design.

The winter of my first year, I settled on a thesis topic: I wanted to explore the role of recovery experiences (such as relaxation and psychological detachment) in weakening the negative associations between workplace interpersonal conflict and employee well-being. I made a mutual decision with my advisor to use a data set she already had available, as opposed to collecting my own data. (This made my thesis process much quicker, but presented its own set of unique challenges—a blog post all in its own!) After weeks of writing and revising, I successfully proposed my Master’s thesis this past May. I should note that this timing in and of itself was remarkable for my program—most students don’t propose their theses until sometime in their second year—very, very, very rarely is it done in the first year!

I worked on analyzing my data and writing up my results over this past summer, and finally, this November (on the 18^th—a day before my 23^rd birthday!), I successfully defended my Master’s thesis. What an amazing feeling! While the weeks and days leading up to that final defense were incredibly stressful, the actual defense passed by quite smoothly. I spent countless hours reading articles, re-reading my final document, and practicing my presentation. I suppose all of that practice paid off! My presentation went well (my committee members even complimented me on my presentation skills—thank you, McNair!), I was able to stay on my toes and answer my committee members’ questions, and I had a good discussion with my committee about future directions to take my research in. Successfully defending my thesis means that as of June 2012 (once I complete several more classes), I will officially have my M.S. in Applied Industrial-Organizational Psychology.

In the few weeks since I’ve defended, I’ve continued to work on revising my thesis (because no, it’s not quite over once you’ve defended). I’ll be working in conjunction with my advisor over the next year to publish findings from my thesis. I’m looking forward to turning my attention towards publishing, and will be continuing to take classes for the remainder of the year. The next big milestones for me are my comprehensive exams…which (thankfully) I get to wait until the spring of 2013 to take!

Throw Open the Curtains

I once thought that self-denial was the best strategy to surviving grad school. I denied myself sleep, good food, exercise, relaxation, and oh, so many things. After all, I was passing graduate level courses, maintaining a good GPA, fulfilling my duties to the McNair program, and most importantly, taking care of my family (although I always strive to do that better). Weren't my priorities in order? NOT!! Wasn't I taking care of business? DEPENDS!! I realized last semester, I had sacrificed so much in pursuit of a degree it felt as if the curtains had been drawn on my soul (melodramatic?). I was run down and burned out, not to mention I was not passionate about the topic for which I was making so much sacrifice.

I have taken steps this semester to make some major shifts in that self-denial approach to earning my degree.

1. I have worked hard to get at least 6.5 to 7 hours of sleep each night though occasionally it has creeped closer to 6 hours. I am finding that I really can't do that anymore without feeling like doody the next day whereas I used to sleep for 4 hours and wake up ready to go the next morning.
2. I have put myself on an eating schedule on which I have three decent sized meals and 2 snacks a day. Even though it is more daily food than I have eaten in years, I seem to be losing weight.
3. Exercise, what can I say about exercise? That is what I have missed most since returning to university 6 years ago. Previously, I had been very physically active and enjoyed feeling strong and fit. I haven't felt that way in many years. So, I have been squeezing in a work out daily, even if only 20-25 minutes.

I have worked on my physical health but realized today that maybe I haven't addressed my mental sacrifice as well.

As I walked into my bedroom this morning to begin homework, I noted that the curtains were still drawn and typically are when I work in my room. Feeling a little deprived because I am currently overwhelmed with work, a powerful rebellion grew inside me and I hurried to the windows and threw open the curtains. At that moment I resolved to work with the curtains open from now on.

As I sit here writing this, I look occasionally to my garden and imagine the sun on my face, the grass green and fragrant, abundance bursting forth from my plants, and the pleasure all this brings. At one time, I was concerned that all these feelings might serve as a distraction and illuminate the self-imposed deprivation in which I engaged to be successful in grad school. I now realize that they are quite the opposite. These feelings need to be a part of my weekly experience (if not more frequently). When I revel in these imaginings, they are like mini vacations of the mind and they will sustain me until the snow melts and my academic schedule lightens. They are just as necessary as all the physical changes I have made and maybe even more so.

Of course, I hate the cold so the snow storm outside my window makes it a little difficult to imagine the sun on my face. Maybe I will go take a hot bath and imagine that... I am in a hot tub on a cruise ship. The waiter just brought me a Miami Vice and it is as cold in my hand as the sun is hot on my shoulders...

What Does it Take to Get a Ph.D.?

I am going to be completely honest with you if you ask me that question. The answer will be, "I am not sure." But I think I am beginning to understand better and better as time flies by. After 4 years of undergraduate study and 1 1/2 years of graduate school, I often ponder this question as I nod off to sleep every night, and at my desk, and while cooking, and while eating, and while talking on the phone, and while driving home... Well, maybe not that last one.

Wait, maybe I do know what it takes to get a Ph.D. Do you know? Maybe it isn't the same for everyone but I suspect that it is. I used to believe that I would have to be highly intelligent or extremely sophisticated to successfully complete my doctoral training. For a good laugh, ask my children if I am either of these (joking). I wouldn't call myself highly intelligent but I work really hard and as a result, I typically do ok. I have managed to juggle classwork, McNair (first as a scholar, then as the GA), research, conference presentations, and writing for publication all while trying really hard to be the best mom I can be. No, I don't think that intelligence is the most important quality that propels one to reach that lofty goal.

So what is it then? Is it sophistication? Hmmm, Lynn, can you answer that one after hearing of my innovation in opening wine bottles (a wood screw and pliers) when a corkscrew is not to be found on Thanksgiving Day or in filling deviled eggs when the pastry bags have gone missing (my husband's heavy duty jerky cannon)? Sophistication is not, in my opinion, the pivotal quality.

I could go on and on about qualities that I thought would be integral ingredients in helping me to attain my Ph.D. but I am coming to realize that the most important qualities one needs to possess are perseverance and stamina. The McNair program serves low income/first generation and/or underrepresented students so I suspect that many of you, like me, learned about perseverance and stamina at a young age.

A big challenge lies ahead of each of you and you are possibly prepared for it in ways that others may not be. In other ways you may feel unprepared. That is where the McNair staff and your mentors can be of great support. I know with certainty that you will receive benefits as McNair scholars that most other prospective graduate students will not. You were selected for this honor because a panel of professionals (and me) saw potential in you. It is up to you to fulfill this potential if you truly desire a doctoral education.

This brings me to yet another quality that will help you to reach your goals, passion. Again, I am being very honest when I say that there hasn't been a semester in graduate school during which I didn't try to think of alternatives to the crazy path I am following. Passion drives me forward. The ability to make a difference, in society, the lives of others, and the lives of my children, keeps the fires burning and me plodding along the road to Ph.D. What motivates your desire?

One Fine Day

I think you all remember when Caitlin and Sam visited with us this summer – they graciously shared their grad school application experiences and gave us many laughs and “tricks of the trade.” They both seem off to a great start in their Ph.D. programs at the University of Illinois (Sam) and Portland State University (Caitlin). You may also recall Caitlin talking about how she initially thought she would pursue a career in creative writing instead of I/O psychology. My sense is that she is happy with her choice of pursuing I/O; however, she is also feeding “her creative side” through her blog. She actually started it during her grad school application process and is now posting on her new life as a Ph.D. student in the awesome city of Portland. Suffice it to say that Caitlin is a great writer – very witty and highly entertaining – I might add! Caitlin is a great person and I know that I’m excited to see where her adventures take her.

I invite you to follow Caitlin on her blog! As scholars looking to follow in her footsteps of becoming fully-funded in a Ph.D. program of your choice, I think you might find it useful, informative and fun! I encourage you to read over her blog from the beginning (meaning the part about the application process) or you may prefer to pick up from the beginning of the fall semester and see how Caitlin acclimated to the move, her starting work with her faculty mentors and her assistantship, meeting and getting to know other students in her program, getting to know the city, finding a place to live (she’s got some stories on that!)…etc. etc. I know time is limited and we all have to make choices about how we spend our precious minutes. I think checking out Caitlin’s blog would fall in the category of time well spent as aspiring Ph.D. students yourselves!

Here’s the link to Caitlin’s blog: http://loveistheteacher.tumblr.com/

Graduate School Mindset

It's no secret that one of the best parts of my job is working with our students, but of course. I love keeping in touch with alumni and I love getting emails, calls, texts, etc. and hearing about their latest adventures and accomplishments. So, besides getting a text message from Sam with a photo attached - a photo of her new "grad student id card" at the University of Illinois....I've been going back and forth with Sam on the email about the acclimation process and her experience so far. She actually just found out that besides her fellowship, she is going to get paid an additional stipend for her research assistantship - how cool is that? So how is Sam doing? So far she loves it. This is what she wrote to me and I think it speaks volumes on why pursuing your Ph.D. is a rewarding thing to do.

"The workload. It's a lot A LOT of reading, but I don't feel overwhelmed. I just got out of one of my classes and I really learned a lot in that class just in the last 3 hours! So I am loving this. I also noticed a shift in my everyday thinking. I don't leave class and talk about random shit, I leave class and talk to my friends about the information we learned. We have more in-depth discussions and I think that really contributes to my breadth of knowledge about everything. It's just a totally
different academic atmosphere, but I like it."

--Sam, McNair '09 (you guys met her this summer)

Can't wait to hear more about Sam's adventures in her Ph.D. program at Illinois! And, I can't wait to hear about each of yours! :-)